Sexual intimacy
Intimacy is rooted in this security of belonging but it must be nourished by an ongoing sexual relationship that is sensuous and satisfying, characterized by tenderness, and by the feeling both partners receive of being loved for themselves. When sex is experienced in this way, a cluster of emotional benefits appears: relief from hurts, a welling of joy and optimism, a sense of security and peace.
When this kind of intimacy is sustained, husband and wife become so close emotionally that they are alert and responsive to fluctuations of feeling in the other, always concerned about the other’s well-being, finely tuned to what the partner needs.
Partners may become angry with each other—this happens occasionally in any interpersonal relationship. But the situation is rather quickly resolved, because they cannot bear to have their state of intimacy disrupted. Afterward, sex becomes a means of joyous reunion.
Developing real sexual intimacy carries a couple safely through the traditionally dangerous waters of the first several years of marriage; the seventh year, when outside temptations are said to be greatest; the middle years, when the children leave home and partners are thrown back on their own relationship; the hard times, when outside pressures and problems become acute; the periods of physical illness or disability, when sexual intimacy makes it possible for the couple to adjust to new conditions in their sex life; and on through old age, when sexual intimacy continues to be enriching, pleasurable, and very reassuring.
But the other side of the coin is also true. Because sexual intimacy is so important as a constructive, integrative force, when it is disappointing or absent altogether, it has an enormous potential for disruption of the marriage.
The warning signs indicating the failure to develop a rewarding sexual intimacy are: boredom with the marriage, disinterest in sex, a feeling of frustration because “the honeymoon is over,” and the temptation for one or both to look elsewhere for the intimacy they crave.
Here are some factors that will hinder the development of sexual intimacy in any marriage.
Posted in The Power of Sexual Intimacy
To Ed Wheat Sr. and Gladys Gibson Wheat, whose commitment, devotion, warmth, generosity, and integrity stood for fifty years as a beautiful picture of genuine agape love.